www.selfesteemsurgery.com

In today’s crazy mixed up world, it is no surprise that fun ain’t what it used to be.

We live in a world dominated by the seven deadly sins.

(pride, envy, gluttony, sloth, lust, avarice, wrath; in case you’d forgotten!)

This is a world where status and possession are top of most people’s lists.

For those who reject wealth’s vulgarity, there is the joy of superiority.

Don’t you get the feeling it’s all a bit rushed and serious?

Technology improves, the messages are delivered faster, and we end up pursuing ghosts of success that haunt us with feelings of inadequacy, fear and loathing.

Not much fun there then.

But what if it was all illusion?

What if all that success, all those adverts, and all those newspaper headlines, travelling faster than the speed of thought, were nothing more than confetti, just flimsy flashes of colour with no substance to them?

What if we didn’t have to take it all so seriously and get back to actually just having fun?

Because the secret behind the secret is not just that ‘you get more of what you focus on, you also get more of how you are focussed.

That’s a crucial idea, and worth saying again, slowly.

Because the secret behind the secret is not just that ‘you get more of what you focus on’; you also get more of how you are focussed.

Because if you focus on the good life, with the big house and the fancy car and the model family and you are doing it with tight lipped determination, bordering on desperation, you will get more of all of it.

All of it, the success and the tight lipped desperation.

But if you focus on a life that inspires you, and turns on those parts of your brain that go wow!; then you will get more of all of it.

All of it, the success and the inspiration.

Sounds better, I hope you’ll agree.

If your goal os build your self-esteem and you are desparate to do it, you will end up with desparate self-esteem.

Choose, therefore to build your self esteem and have fun at the same time, because the payoff is that you get more of both.

Self-Esteem Experiment 3:

For the couple of days, keep a journal of all the stuff you do that is fun.

Every evening, just before you go to sleep, review the day and notice where and when you had the most fun.

Then think about the following day, and get curious as to where and when you will have the most fun.

How much fun can you have in one hour?

One day?

One life time?

The answer is up to you, and you might even start having fun finding out!

Lets play a little game.

Think of a fizzy drink….what is it?

How about a fast food restaurant?

Who is the most beautiful supermodel?

The most popular popstar?

Name a tall building in Europe.

Now one in North America.

Knowing a little about how people tick, I’m pretty sure that when asked for each example, something would pop straight into your mind, before you even had time to think about it.

Now try this.

Think of someone who makes you angry.

Think of someone who makes you laugh.

Do you notice that again, someone springs almost instantly to mind, and that you also started to feel something too?

As you noticed, the answers come fast, very fast.

And in the case of the people I asked you to think about, the emotions arrived at just about the same time.

Let me introduce you to your fantastic unconscious, a part of you that produces consistent results, without you getting in the way.

Think of your unconscious as having an evolved Google search engine.

Whatever you ask for, it seeks through the library of your memory for answers, and gives you those answers quicker than you can blink.

If it cannot find answers in your memory, it will have a good go at making up a plausible one.

If it can’t make up an answer (how tall was the fourth president of the United States of America?), then it might start to get uneasy.

So what does this have to do with choice?

Good question deserving of a good answer.

If you do not decide what will happen when exposed to different stimuli, then you will forever be vulnerable to the instant reflex reactions that your inner Google will throw up at you.
If you do not decide what questions to ask, you will always ask the same questions – and – you will always get the same answers.

If you ask great questions, great!

You get great answers that pull you towards the life you want to live.

If you ask crappy questions, that’s great too!

Because you can, right now, make a decision to learn how to ask better questions, and you can also, decide, right now to switch your inner Google to look for better answers.

Self-Esteem Experiment 2:

Make a list of the typical reactions you have when you think about the following:

1. Getting intimate with someone

2. Standing in front of a large audience and doing a presentation

3. Confronting a work colleague about a mistake they have made, which you both need to sort out.

Note the feelings that pop up, note the way the movie plays in your mind, and notice if the end of the scene is one you desire.

Now, imagine that you are a storyteller, and you could choose how each scene went.

What changes would you make?

What differences would make you enjoy watching the scenes?

How could you change it from a horror movie to a show that you actually want to watch, where you do exactly what you need to do to get the results you want?

Is this a better story to tell yourself?

Once you start to realise that you can develop the skill of telling yourself better stories, you will start living better stories and you will enjoy the story of your life like never before.

Enjoy the movie, and I look forward to sharing your story soon!

One of the problems we face as we go through the daily routine is that we are constantly shown that there are people who are better than us.

In sport, in business, music, engineering and the whole range of human pursuits I can guarantee that there will always be the elite group who are simply the best.

Behind their excellence are several myths, and shining a light on these can give you a different truth to live by.

One of these is the myth of instant excellence.

Malcolm Gladwell has suggested that mastery of a subject can be achieved with around ten thousand hours of practice.

World class sportsmen, musicians, bear this out. Footballers are on the pitch for 90 minutes, but they spend the rest of their week training, kicking hundreds of balls into the back of the net, so that when they get the chance during the game, they just do it.

If you had to tell a story about a footballer, would you focus on the training or on the goals they score?

To watch someone doing something for ten thousand hours would be pretty dull, and doesn’t make for good telly.

If you edit ten thousand hours into a twenty second slot of kicking balls, you can then get onto the good stuff – the goals and the fancy game play.

So the lesson is lost, and a new learning takes place – they are great because they are gifted, they have ‘talent’.

If you want to get good at something, give yourself a break.

You won’t be world class after trying it for ten minutes, nor should you expect to be, but you will be better than you were ten minutes ago.

If you continue to practice, you will get better every time.

Self-Esteem Experiment 1:

(do this for fun and to learn something useful for yourself)

Choose a skill that you would like to get better at.

If this is the first time you are doing this exercise, choose something relatively quick and simple, like writing your name with your non-dominant hand, or drawing a certain object, or learning to count to twenty in a foreign language, or saying “hello” to a stranger.

Nothing dramatic like brain surgery!

On a plain piece of paper, write the task out and make a note of how good you are at the task, on a scale of one to one hundred, where one is absolutely unable to perform the task, and one hundred is when you can perform the task in your sleep.

Write out the numbers from one to one huindred on separate lines (using more paper if you have to) and then do your first attempt.

Once complete, make any notes of your experience next to number one.

Are you better?

Probably not noticeably, but just note your score.

Fill in the list every time you do the next attempt, and be curious as to how many times it takes before you notice an improvement in your technique.

The aim of this experiment is not to get 100% perfect, it is notice the rate at which you improve and also to notice your emotions as you go through the experiment.

You don’t actually need to download this interview, click the link above and then click “play” instead of download and you can just listen straight in on the interview.

Real answers, to real questions, from real people.

Please do share your feedback, I would love to hear you thoughts.

Keep your eyes peeled on your inbox too,  I have a couple more cool things to share with you over the next few days.

>>>>>DOWNLOAD NOW BY CLICKING HERE<<<<<

Ok maybe you would prefer to read all about it…

Top 10 Low Self Esteem Signs

You might be concerned if you have any low self esteem signs. Well most of the human race exhibits low self esteem signs in a variety of proportions. Wherever you go, you might see a person passing by who is showing a low self esteem sign. Now not all low self esteem signs are obvious to the eye. Some are often suppressed.

Recognising if you are exhibiting any of these low self esteem signs which are the most prominent.

1. Walking with your head down

If you ever find yourself walking with your head down, staring at the ground in front of you. You might even shuffle, by barely lifting your feet off the ground. If you find yourself doing this, change this immediately by picking up your chin up off your chest and lift your feet off the ground properly with your head help up high.

Wouldn’t you rather look like the person who walks around with their chest pushed out like a peacock and their heads help up high as if they are ready to conquer the world.

Just by changing how you walk your attitude can dramatically change as well. Now if anyone passes you by they think you are showing a low self esteem sign. They will think you are confident, in control and you’re ready to take on anything.

2. Avoiding eye contact with others

This low self esteem sign is very common but then again, it could me mistaken for someone who is flirting with someone by breaking eye contact. So don’t make any judgements before you know the person.

If someone shifts their eyes about and are unable to make direct eye contact with the people that are communicating to them. This generally means they have low self esteem by avoiding to connect with others. When someone speaks to you try to keep eye contact, you don’t have to stare constantly but do try to keep a good level of eye contact.

3. You do not accept compliments well

When someone gives you a compliment and you deny it by saying something like “Oh no, not me” then that’s another sign of low self esteem. Start accepting compliments that are told to you with appreciation and grace. People who give you genuine comment mean them so why deny them at all. By accepting them you know that you have a special quality which is been acknowledged and appreciated, by the person complimenting you.

4. You always apologise and feel guilty

Apologizing a lot usually means you have low self esteem by saying “I’m sorry” often. You need to stop apologizing for every little thing you do wrong. Sure there are times when apologizing is appropriate. There is no need to apologize for what you look like, how you dress or even how you live your life. That would be like apologizing for being who you are.

5. Using negative and hopeless language

People with low self esteem usually speak in a negative way towards others or even towards themselves. Here are a few examples of negative and hopeless language which people with low self esteem use: “if something bad happens, it will happen to me”, “who could love me”, “it figures”, “I can’t”, “I never could”, “I should have…”, “life sucks”, “wish I were dead”, etc, etc. I am sure everyone has said phrases like these at some point in there lives. It is especially unhealthy to be saying these negative things often.

Remember the world has its good and bad aspects. If we see the world in a negative way then that normally reflects on what we think of ourselves. So if you have a positive attitude and outlook towards life then you will most likely have a good level of self esteem.

6. You are depressed a lot

If you are struggling with depression you are most likely always looking at the negative aspect in any situation. People who are always depressed are usually alone or keep to themselves, don’t socialise much or see themselves as imperfect, etc. There are many reasons why people are depressed. It’s up to you to take action and change how you feel. If you don’t know what action to take them speak to someone and let them help you.

7. You try to be perfect

I’ve seen so many people try to look perfect, do things perfectly and just be the perfect person. Thinking other people or friends around you are perfect and wanting to be like them, is the complete opposite of what you should be doing. If you are putting others on a pedestal and overestimating the worth of them, this leads to underestimating and downgrading yourself. You also start to feel inadequate as you try to measure up to those you idolise and think are perfect.

True self worth means an acceptance of your being, accept each aspect and everything about you and have no desire to be anyone else. If you don’t accept yourself, how are other people going to truly accept you?

8. Idolising People

Most people with low self esteem consider people’s opinions about them much more than their own opinion. You are de-valuing yourself, which leaves you feeling inadequate as you try to measure up to other people by relying on their opinions.

For instance, if you’re attending a party or social event and like what you are wearing and feel good about yourself. Then someone says, “Why did you wear those shoes with that dress?” You would then start to question your judgement and agree with their opinion.

Now if you had high self esteem you wouldn’t take any notice about what other people think and say about what you wear or how you look. It would be extremely difficult for anyone to make you feel bad about the choices you have made.

9. You do not interact with others

Your lack of belief in yourself might motivate you to hide away from reality and keep your distance from other living humans. You may feel uneasy when being around people, especially large groups of people. Take a very deep breath and join the land of the living. You have a lot to give ~ to yourself and to others.

10. You don’t take risks

In most cases people with low self esteem avoid taking risks in their personal and professional lives. This is usually a result of feeling unsure about yourself; you might fear failure and looking bad. Failure is a big issue when it comes to low self esteem. If you have failed a lot in the past you might have an attitude of “why try any more”. By giving up and always fearing failure will stop you from learning new things and even pursuing a challenge or goal you would like to accomplish. So forget about that one failure that’s stopping you from pursuing your challenge or ambition to accomplish something.

Which Low Self Esteem Signs are Greatly Affecting You?

How many of these low self esteem signs are actually affecting you right now? Most people with low self esteem have to contend with six or seven where as people who have a good level of self esteem only contend with up to three maximum usually. If you find yourself with eight or more low self esteem signs, you need to take action urgently to start working on how you feel and think about yourself. All these signs of low self esteem dictate how people perceive you and treat you. These signs of low self esteem also indirectly influence the level of success and happiness you can expect or achieve in life.

Do you feel that you have had enough of always feeling inadequate, depressed, overwhelmed, angry and never actually being truly happy with who you are. Well now you must take control of your life and the way you think and feel about yourself! Forget about all the low self esteem signs you’re are showing for the moment. Forget your troubles and past experiences. There is no need to remind yourself of past failures and negative experiences. Start by giving yourself a break from all that and relax. Be thankful for what you do have than what you don’t have.

I agree it can be difficult to suddenly change everything that’s happened to you. It can seem like there is nothing in the world which can help you now. You might have tried so many techniques, methods and nothing worked for you. But there are things that do work and it’s just finding the right bit of information that will get you to the place you want to be at.

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